dilemna

What would you do if you were in my situation?  Let me explain.  I have a good job.  I make decent money, I like my co-workers, and the daycare my daughter attends is only a few blocks from where I work.  I can visit her everyday on my lunch break, and they were flexible with my schedule to give me one day off a week.  So, what's the catch right?  Well, 3 hours of my day are spent driving b/c the job is about an hour and 10 minutes (give or take) from where I live.  I guess I can't complain in some ways.  There are probably quite a few people out there who have longer commutes but actually live closer to their jobs!  Problem for me is that with a new baby and such, sleep is well...not really happening.  So the drive is really getting to me.  I fight sleep constantly while driving.  AND, it sucks up a TON of money for gas.  What is the dilemna?  Well, I've been trying to find a job closer to home.  You know, to cut down on money spent on gas, commute time, etc.  Only problem is that any job I'm applying for is a significant paycut from what I make now, which isn't good for our already tight budget.  I have a second interview for a job today that although I don't know what they could offer for pay (or if they will even make an offer) I have a feeling it's going to be significantly less that what I make now.  I have a mininum that I could ask for, but what if they can't meet that?  What would you do?  What are the pros and cons of this?  I mean, it could be a great new opportunity.  I'd have more time at home and less time in the car.  I might even be able to do some work from home whereas I can't do that now.  But it's hard to imagine the paycut and leaving a job that I feel like I have some status at.  And the headache of trying to find a new daycare.  Which could maybe have some benefits.....but my daughter is getting to the age of having stranger anxiety and we've already had one stressful daycare situation and I am not looking forward to possibly having another one.  Needless to say, this has been a very stressful time for me.  It may seem easy to figure out priorities and be able to make a decision.  But it isn't.  For a long time, my career was very important to me.  It's hard for me to imagine almost starting over, again.  But my family is also very important to me, and I want to be there for my daughter and do what is best for her.  Right now she has to make that commute with me every day.  That is a lot of time for a baby to spend in the car.  Sure, I get to spend time with her, but I can't hold her, comfort her, play with her.  It's got to be pretty darn boring.  But I am also the one constantly making the sacrifices.  Leaving jobs trying to find something better to do better for my family.  Some of you may think the decision is a no brainer.  Or that I should just suck it up and deal with the commute.  I suppose in a lot of ways none of this sounds bad at all.  But put yourself in my shoes.  Driving that far everyday with your 6 month old, struggling to stay awake and fearing you will have an accident.  Getting up at 4:30 every morning and not getting to bed until after 11 every night.  It makes for long days.  And I'm not doing much for myself at all during any of this.  Thoughts??  Comments?  Try to keep an open mind.  I'm not trying to complain.  I feel very lucky that I have a job, had an interview, have a beautiful daughter, and have the ability to even have to make this type of decision (maybe).  I guess I just need a few opinions.  Thanks for listening. 

catching up...

Well, I'm definitely not the best at blogging.  I can't even keep up with my attempt for giving thanks!  Rest assured I have given thanks like I said I would every day, just haven't blogged about it.  Sooooooo, today, I give thanks for my goofy husband.  We've been having a lot of rough times, especially since the birth of our daughter, so the email he sent me was the best.  It was an ElfYourself dance o gram created by Office Max....you plug pics onto goofy elf bodies and they dance to music.  It was hilarious!  He created one with my dad and our daughter's pics.  Too funny.  I thank him for making me laugh out loud at work today. 

Catching up can mean a lot of things to a lot of people.  I feel like I am always trying to just stay caught up on life in general.  But I realized that it's not really something you stay caught up on.  You live each day however you can, and that is all you can do.  We may stress and worry our days away thinking we'll never catch up, we'll never catch a break, but what good is that?  Our we enjoying our lives then?  I think not.  I know I had forgotten how to have fun, to laugh, to be goofy.  My daughter has been a blessing in so many ways.  One is that she brings out the kid in me.  I have never made up so many goofy songs, sounds, and faces in my life.  And it's wonderful!  I think we'll always be trying to catch up.  Instead of brooding and worrying about it, let's try to enjoy life and be thankful for what we all have.